"like two longtime friends...may we walk this road together"

I have met many here who say "share our stories". The director of Alrowwad Center, Dr. Abdelfattah Absrour has written some heartwrenching poems that can be found on the Alrowwad site (linked to the right) under the section - Poems and Writings. Please read them, especially "I witnessed". And here are some poems from the famous palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish.

A Lover From Palestine by Mahmoud Darwish

Her eyes are Palestinian
Her name is Palestinian
Her dress and sorrow Palestinian
Her kerchief, her feet and body Palestinian
Her words and silence Palestinian
Her voice Palestinian
Her birth and her death Palestinian


Rita And The Rifle by Mahmoud Darwish

Between Rita and my eyes
There is a rifle
And whoever knows Rita
Kneels and plays
To the divinity in those honey-colored eyes
And I kissed Rita
When she was young
And I remember how she approached
And how my arm covered the loveliest of braids
And I remember Rita
The way a sparrow remembers its stream
Ah, Rita
Between us there are a million sparrows and images
And many a rendezvous
Fired at by a rifle

Rita's name was a feast in my mouth
Rita's body was a wedding in my blood
And I was lost in Rita for two years
And for two years she slept on my arm
And we made promises
Over the most beautiful of cups
And we burned in the wine of our lips
And we were born again

Ah, Rita!
What before this rifle could have turned my eyes from yours
Except a nap or two or honey-colored clouds?
Once upon a time
Oh, the silence of dusk
In the morning my moon migrated to a far place
Towards those honey-colored eyes
And the city swept away all the singers
And Rita

Between Rita and my eyes—
A rifle


(excerpts from)Under Siege by Mahmoud Darwish

Here on the slopes of hills, facing the dusk and the cannon of time
Close to the gardens of broken shadows,
We do what prisoners do,
And what the jobless do:
We cultivate hope.

***
The siege will last in order to convince us we must choose an enslavement that does no harm, in fullest liberty!

***
Resisting means assuring oneself of the heart’s health,
The health of the testicles and of your tenacious disease:
The disease of hope.

***
When the planes disappear, the white, white doves
Fly off and wash the cheeks of heaven
With unbound wings taking radiance back again, taking possession
Of the ether and of play. Higher, higher still, the white, white doves
Fly off. Ah, if only the sky
Were real [a man passing between two bombs said to me].

***
It is up to the soul to come down from its mount
And on its silken feet walk
By my side, hand in hand, like two longtime
Friends who share the ancient bread
And the antique glass of wine
May we walk this road together

***
Here there is no "I".
Here Adam remembers the dust of his clay.

***
On the verge of death, he says:
I have no trace left to lose:
Free I am so close to my liberty. My future lies in my own hand.
Soon I shall penetrate my life,
I shall be born free and parentless,
And as my name I shall choose azure letters...

***
You who stand in the doorway, come in,
Drink Arabic coffee with us
And you will sense that you are men like us
You who stand in the doorways of houses
Come out of our morningtimes,
We shall feel reassured to be
Men like you!

***
[To a killer] If you had contemplated the victim’s face
And thought it through, you would have remembered your mother in the
Gas chamber, you would have been freed from the reason for the rifle
And you would have changed your mind: this is not the way
to find one’s identity again.

***
Alone, we are alone as far down as the sediment
Were it not for the visits of the rainbows.

***
We have brothers behind this expanse.
Excellent brothers. They love us. They watch us and weep.
Then, in secret, they tell each other:
"Ah! if this siege had been declared..." They do not finish their sentence:
"Don’t abandon us, don’t leave us."

***
Our losses: between two and eight martyrs each day.
And ten wounded.
And twenty homes.
And fifty olive trees...
Added to this the structural flaw that
Will arrive at the poem, the play, and the unfinished canvas.

***
A woman told the cloud: cover my beloved
For my clothing is drenched with his blood.

***
If you are not rain, my love
Be tree
Sated with fertility, be tree
If you are not tree, my love
Be stone
Saturated with humidity, be stone
If you are not stone, my love
Be moon
In the dream of the beloved woman, be moon
[So spoke a woman
to her son at his funeral]

***

A little of this absolute and blue infinity
Would be enough
To lighten the burden of these times
And to cleanse the mire of this place.

***
On my rubble the shadow grows green,
And the wolf is dozing on the skin of my goat
He dreams as I do, as the angel does
That life is here...not over there.

***
In the state of siege, time becomes space
Transfixed in its eternity
In the state of siege, space becomes time
That has missed its yesterday and its tomorrow.

***
The martyr enlightens me: beyond the expanse
I did not look...for I love life
On earth, amid fig trees and pines,
But I cannot reach it, and then, too, I took aim at it
With my last possession: the blood in the body of azure.

***
The martyr warned me: Do not believe their ululations
Believe my father when, weeping, he looks at my photograph
How did we trade roles, my son, how did you precede me.
I first, I the first one!

***
The martyr encircles me: my place and my crude furniture are all that I have changed.
I put a gazelle on my bed,
And a crescent of moon on my finger
To appease my sorrow.

***
And in what remains of the dawn, I walk toward my exterior
And in what remains of the night, I hear the sound of footsteps inside me.

***
Greetings to the one who shares with me an attention to
The drunkenness of light, the light of the butterfly, in the
Blackness of this tunnel!

***
Greetings to the one who shares my glass with me
In the denseness of a night outflanking the two spaces:
Greetings to my apparition.

***
My friends are always preparing a farewell feast for me,
A soothing grave in the shade of oak trees
A marble epitaph of time
And always I anticipate them at the funeral:
Who then has died...who?

***
Writing is a puppy biting nothingness
Writing wounds without a trace of blood.

***
Our cups of coffee. Birds green trees
In the blue shade, the sun gambols from one wall
To another like a gazelle
The water in the clouds has the unlimited shape of what is left to us
Of the sky. And other things of suspended memories
Reveal that this morning is powerful and splendid,
And that we are the guests of eternity.


I Come From There by Mahmoud Darwish

I come from there and I have memories
Born as mortals are, I have a mother
And a house with many windows,
I have brothers, friends,
And a prison cell with a cold window.
Mine is the wave, snatched by sea-gulls,
I have my own view,
And an extra blade of grass.
Mine is the moon at the far edge of the words,
And the bounty of birds,
And the immortal olive tree.
I walked this land before the swords
Turned its living body into a laden table.

I come from there. I render the sky unto her mother
When the sky weeps for her mother.
And I weep to make myself known
To a returning cloud.
I learnt all the words worthy of the court of blood
So that I could break the rule.
I have learned and dismantled all the words
to construct a single one: Homeland....

more about misinformation

There are many groups inside Israel and Palestine that are trying to inform us on the truth of events that we do not hear. here are some links to news articles about:

protecting civilians
http://www.btselem.org/English/Gaza_Strip/20081230_Protecting_Civilians.asp

bombed truck carrying oxygen was claimed to have been carrying grad rockets
http://www.btselem.org/English/Gaza_Strip/20081231_Army_bombs_metal_workshop_in_Gaza.asp

civilians are not legitimate military targets, the geneva convention
http://www.btselem.org/English/Gaza_Strip/20081231_Gaza_Letter_to_Mazuz.asp

there are many more articles and information on their site.

new year - salam

The training in bethlehem ended up only being an introduction but everyonw seemed to learn quickly and i am going to try to return on th 6th before i leave to finish it. i was a little sad to leave aida camp and everyone i had become friends with, but excited for my work with the center in ramallah.

my friend ahlam accompanied me on my journey and hen i arrived i was invited to attend a workshop on how to treat children who have experienced trauma. the speaker went over maslow's hierarchy of needs and because of the events in gaza we focused on what those children in particular would be experiencing. i had heard of it before but never studied it. within the specific context in gaza i understood it viscerally. i will get into it more.

After she was done speaking they made an announcement for my workshop the next day in the context of another form of treatment for those who have experienced trauma. they tried to limit it to 20 people but so many were excited about it that they ended up allowing 26 to sign up. it was nice to watch the interest in what i came to do.

That night I had dinner ith my friend Ahlam who wanted me to cook, her neighbor was coming over that night. although i've only been here a week and most the conversations are in arabic i find myself understanding alot through context or maybe body language and intonation? we talked a lot about foreign foundations and their work in the west bank. and how many of them do very little to help the people here and have contracts that end up just serving their own interests often times. it makes me have mixed feelings about my work here because i don't want to be the same, or at least viewed as such.

the center put me up in the hotel where the conference took place, it was nice to take a warm shower, there are many things i don't think i'll ever take for granted again.

the next day as i prepared for the workshop i started feeling a little nervous. but since being here i have found myself very present and taking everything as it comes. because we had originally arrange for it to take 2 days i have found myself having to present a lot of information in a very short period of time. what ended up happening was similar to aida camp, it was more of an introduction to the work to foster interest in the future. i was helped by 3 people who had done the training in june: fardous, dr. nidal, and anham. i was very thankful for there support. and 2 of them have expressed interest in the possibility of working together with our organization to try to set up a center just for acupuncture. insha'allah. at the end i think many people were enthused at the prospect of learning more later. and the response from the staff seemed hopeful. also a local news crew came by to report on the workshop. so now i have a 30 second byte on local ramallah tv. it was weird though because i was talking to the reporter ho didn't ask any questions. i don't even know what i said. but those from the center were interviewed as well. i am so thankful ith the hospitality in which i have received from everyone here.

that night i had dinner with fardous and her family. it was wonderful we talked of many things and her mother assured me that i now have a place any time i visit and she made me promise that would be soon. and her sister, mira, said next time i come it should be for longer and she will give me private arabic lessons, w'allah! i wish i could express gratitude for how eceryone i've met has ewlcomed me into their homes and family with open arms. we often talk of the situation here and what is happening in gaza and how the international community is informed and what that creates in their perceptions of not only palestine but the arab world. and often times they express that they are so happy to meet me and know that soem of us are trying to learn the truth. her mother, fatima, said my visit has been very good and balancing for her because she needs to know that not all americans think poorly of palestinians and support what is being done here. i thanked her for sharing her experiences and home with me. i hope to return soon for longer, maybe even a couple of months, we'll see.

this morning i met with an amazing man, friend of a friend, abed. it took him an hour and a half to travel 28 km from his village north of ramallah due to the checkpoints, today there were 2 one palestinian and one israeli. he works with unions here and does workshops with palestinian workers in jerusalem to help educate them on their workers rights which are often not respected here (unfortunately not much of a surprise). he also started a fair trade for palestinian products organization (link on the right). we walked around ramallah a while and he helped me make it to the bus station for my trip to jerusalem. I am sad i didn't have more time to spend with this lovely man. maybe soon. he invited me to his village and said one day we will take a tour of the surrounding villages and all the farms he works with. and he assured me that if there is anything that i need i can call him and he will come. and again that i have a second home here. such a big heart and kind eyes. i look forward to getting to know him better in the future.

my heart is heavy as i sit here in jerusalem wondering when i will see my friends again and wishing them safety as the events here seem unpredictable. i have seen many other things which i will relate later. i just wanted to keep this one light and let everyone know of my wonderful experience with all the people i've met here. what love and sincere caring. i hope this finds you all well and you take the time to inform yourself with news from this perspective as well as what you see in the other medias, we owe it to everyone here to listen to their voices. i have included a link to an english site for aljazeera, please look into it.

wishing everyone a new year with hope for change

quick note

i just wanted to let everyone know i am in ramallah until tomorrow and then i head to tel aviv to meet up with a man that i will travel with to jenin. i haven't had much internet access so i will write more later.

time has a way...

as mentioned previously most of palestine is on strike in response to the egregious acts that took place in gaza on saturday. many are in mourning. there is an overwhelming sadness knowing that our palestinian brothers and sisters are suffering and not being able to help. israel is mobilizing for a ground offensive. we don't know when it will happen yet but despite international cries to cease, it seems that it will be soon. the death toll keeps rising and if israel invades who knows how many more will die. and while the news adheres to the false truth that it was hamas terrorists who were killed, we know that many others will remain nameless in their deaths. watching the video footage here we see children being carried out lifeless and bloody as well as the intended "terrorists". we need to start thinking and being aware, not swayed by words that have not only lost their meaning but are now used as weapons to denigrate others to defend and further inhuman acts.

due to the events and the sense of loss - i have had to postpone my work here. so i am still in aida camp, in bethlehem. but today i arrived at the center and the training has been scheduled for later today. i am appreciative that they have made the time despite the tragedy and i hope that it brings some relief. a small piece to help cope against such enormous injustice and suffering.

i also confirmed my travel and schedule to follow up with the training done in ramallah in june on tuesday, as well as doing another at the red crescent society on wednesday. i have received much concern for my safety due to the instability of what might occur if israel invades gaza soon. after much thought i have decided to continue on as planned. after talking to the people at TRC i am excited at the prospect of offering what little help i can in times such as these when so many are psychologically and emotionally traumatized. i ask you to keep the events in your awareness and speak out when you have the chance against such injustices that are daily life here.

thank you

US military funding to israel

please take the time to contact our government officials to let them know we will not support the inhuman acts going on in gaza anymore.

This is an email I received from my friend about the US monetary support going to Israel:

As of this writing, Israeli Air Force attacks today on the occupied
Gaza Strip killed an estimated 300 or more people and injured at least 400
more.

This is ALOT of people (in case the numbers of dead people start to numb you)

These Israeli attacks come on top of a brutal siege of the Gaza
Strip, which has created a humanitarian catastrophe of dire
proportions for Gaza's 1.5 million Palestinian residents
(Most of whom have nothing to do with HAMAS-the organization targeted by the Israeli government)
by restricting the provision of food, fuel, medicine, electricity, and
other necessities of life.

In case you are wondering "What does this have to do with me?"

It is unmistakable that Israel carried out these attacks with
F16 fighter jets and missiles provided by the taxpayers of this
country. From 2001-2006, the United States transferred to Israel more
than $200 million worth of spare parts to fly its fleet of F16's. In
July 2008, the United States gave Israel 186 million gallons of JP-8
aviation jet fuel. Last year, the United States signed a $1.3 billion
contract with Raytheon to transfer to Israel thousands of TOW,
Hellfire, and "bunker buster" missiles.

In short, Israel's lethal attack today on the Gaza Strip could not
have happened without the active military and political support of the
United States. Therefore, we need to take action to protest this
attack and demand an immediate cease-fire.
Every week the Palestinian Center for Human Rights publishes a detailed
record documenting the Israeli crimes for that week.

http://www.imemc.org/newswire?search_text=pchr&x=0&y=0

My friend Jenka says:
the State Dept. bureaucrat directing policy
toward Israel is:
Director of the Office of Israel and Palestinian
Affairs Thomas Goldberger 202-647-3672

Please help flood his office with calls, demanding
that the US stop supporting an illegal occupation that engages in daily
violations of international human rights law and completely disregards
the internationally-recognized rights of the Palestinian people.

love Sarah

You can also TAKE ACTION by:

1. Contact the White House to protest the attack and demand an
immediate cease-fire. Call 202-456-1111 or send an email tocomments@whitehouse.gov
.

2. Contact the State Department at 202-647-6575 or send an email by
clicking here: http://contact-us.state.gov/cgi-bin/state.cfg/php/enduser/std_alp.php
and then click on the Email A Question/Comment tab.

3. Contact your Representative and Senators in Congress at
202-224-3121 or find contact info for your Members of Congress by
clicking here: http://www.congress.org/congressorg/home/

4. Contact your local media by phoning into a talk show or writing a
letter to the editor. To find contact info for your local media, click
here:http://www.congress.org/congressorg/dbq/media/

5. Organize a local protest or vigil and tell us about it by sending
us an email to: congress@endtheoccupation.org

6. Sign our open letter to President-Elect Obama calling for a new
U.S. policy toward Israel/Palestine and find out other steps you can
take to influence the incoming Administration by clicking here:http://www.endtheoccupation.org/article.php?id=1771

not to be used in (the) us

i just wanted to write quickly so that everyone knows i'm okay (after a barrage of emails). we left the center yesterday around 4:30 to join up with other groups to march in protest against the attacks that happened in gaza. just as we left the center the air was already filled with teargas? making us cough and our eyes burn, the more they watered the more they burned. there was a jeep parked at the top of the street so we went another way. and as we walked we could see the cloud of black smoke in the sky causing it. for no reason other than in anticipation of people gathering in protest of the deaths in gaza, which we should have every right to do. we met at the nativity church and then marched back up through bethlehem to the wall. along the way it was pointed out to me that there were almost 2 marches going on for the 2 different political parties. and once again i had conversations about how it seems they use these moments to further their own agendas instead of really helping the people, which seems endemic everywhere.

we were told there were soldiers up ahead waiting for us near the apartheid wall. when we arrived we kept our distance but you could see many young kids throwing rocks, and that seems to be the indicator that things will escalate. although i know that's not the best way - after being here i understand why it happens. the apartheid wall is a large ominous symbol that is almost always in view from certain parts of the city, and definitely always in awareness. i saw a young kid find some pieces and use a large rock to break them up so he had more. it's not about trying to cause harm its an attempt to express anger that has no outlet, outrage at an unfair unjust situation. then people started moving back from the apartheid wall and a sound bomb was set off and i heard it injured an international girl in the foot. after that they released tear gas. at this point we were already heading away from the apartheid wall but the cloud came fast, and soon we were running. a man ran next to me and offered me some essential oils(?) to breath in to help offset the affects of it. we saw some of the canisters and i was told it is clearly printed on the side - "not to be used in the US", though my guess is it's probably made there. our lovely tax dollars at work.

i don't know the exact figures - but US aid to israel, especially in the form of military has rose steadily for the last few years - this is what it is used for. to bomb, kill, and disrupt all aspects of forming a healthy society within the occupied territories.

as the protest was dispersed - not by force but by the people feeling there was no more to be done - my head felt cloudy and the tract from my nose to my throat was raw. and i thought jokingly to myself - it's definitely not organic, thinking about all the people so sensitive to every little synthetic smell, people here live with this poisoning the air at the whims of another government before anything had even occurs, with the intention of keeping them from gathering and voicing dissent. but instead of turning back or staying in their homes they cover their faces with kufiyas, in the manner which we have been conditioned to recognize as the image of a terrorist (i hope you think of that next time - maybe it is just so they could breath!)

after the protest i went with dr. Abdelfattah to his home for an amazingly delicious dinner of labeneh (w/zataar), humous, falafel, soup,... it was so good. i met his 5 children and his lovely wife. he lives in a beautiful home and shared with us stories of growing up in aida camp. refugee seems to have been taken out of the name commonly used here because many have been born here and now it is like another little town just outside bethlehem. he told me many stories i hope to relay. each one demonstrating the cruel inhumanity of occupation. his wife is from jerusalem and they keep an apartment there and their children go to school there so they can "prove" that she has reason to keep her ID card. if they don't they will have many troubles be able to travel outside the territories into jerusalem and "israel", and especially unable to travel outside the country except through jordan - whose borders are also under israeli military control now. no one with a palestinian identity is allowed to travel through tel aviv if the want to leave the country they must make arrangements (and hope to pass) through a bordering country, but as israel tightens its strangle hold on their movements the other countries are also lessening their freedom to move. they rented their apartment in jerusalem in 2000 and it took until 2006 for him to have a permit to live there. he told me of palestinian businesses as well. the import and export of all goods is controlled by israel so when trying to sell to other countries it becomes quite hard. israeli regulations lets the goods sit sometimes for YEARS! until it is no longer good or it ruins the ability to do business because exporting cannot be garunteed in any given time - and then they charge them for a storage fee! sickening.

he also told me stories of having to wait hours to travel 200 meters when his children were young. making them get in and out of the cars with a 3 year old and a 6 month old (at the time). because they can set up arbitrary check points anywhere they want.

also when he was studying in school he got a scholarship to go to france for a month, they refused to give him the permit and eventually when he was allowed to go they gave him a full scholarship so he lived and studied in france for 9 years. my friend aluk asked if he had thought about staying there instead of returning. and he responded as i have heard others who have and do have the chance to leave - they love their home and they want help those who don't have the same opportunity so that one day they may, they come back in the hopes of fostering a change. he has a nephew of 19 who has never seen jerusalem (al-quds), has never been allowed to leave. so although futile - throwing rocks at the symbol of imprisonment has to be seen for what it is. a small act of resistance against forces that daily make you feel powerless to create the society you wish to live in, one of peace and freedom. isn't that what we all want and strive for? unfortunately when we are led to believe that's what we have we find it hard to understand the acts of those who live in awareness that they are controlled.

The death toll raised to 205. i heard it's the most deaths in one day in years since the conflict began. there has been declared 3 days of mourning so the training i was to do here will have to be postponed and i have yet to see how it will affect the training and travel to ramallah.

so once again i'm so thankful that they have let spend this time with them the last few days and have taught me so much. i hope this all finds you well and know that i am safe, though my chest definitely feels the affects from whatever i inhaled last night. and hopefully this struggle can continue peacefully without more deaths and find an end that restores the humanity, which has been lost - insha'allah.